Music and Meaning

November 7, 2007

11:55 AM

Thank you to whatever means allows new music and movies to make their way to Bishkek. Whatever/Whomever helped to get Common’s new album, “Finding Forever,” to Bishkek deserves a medal. This album is now on repeat and has put me in a trance!



November 9, 2007

2:00 PM

I said goodbye to Amy last night as she took off to the States. I will spare you the evening I experienced. Simply put, I am glad I had some salty food for dinner last night; it helped keep my sodium levels intact.

Preparing for Amy’s departure has been incredibly difficult, but has also brought with it some new insights. First, and most importantly, I realized how much I really do love this girl. At times, the thought of her leaving makes me involuntarily cry. Very few times in my life has my body hit a point where I couldn’t control my emotions. Amy’s departure has done so. My conclusion: this girl is my life and has found the pulse of my soul. I know time will go quickly and that this will only make us stronger, but it’s going to be tough.

Amy’s departure has also brought some other things into perspective in my life. With an up-coming trip to the States combined with talking with Amy about leaving Kyrgyzstan, I have realized how much I love it here. Hearing Amy’s thoughts on how tough it was for her to leave hit me hard. She created a new life here. She lived here for two years and became comfortable in her new life. Leaving this life and her (and all our) fear of returning to American life was rushing through her as she was leaving.

I have created a new life here. I have been living here for a year and a half.

One thing Amy told me that really stuck with me was how leaving home and here were different for her. She said that she doesn’t know she will ever be back to Kyrgyzstan.

Leaving that States, we know we will be heading back. Life changes a lot in the States while we are gone; but when we leave, we know that we will be coming back in due time. Leaving Kyrgyzstan is a bit tougher take. Coming back is not a certainty.

Everything from starting new lives in the States to Kyrgyzstan’s future makes the reality of returning here after we leave a tough thing to picture. Sure, we both are going to want to return here one day. But the reality is that it may never happen; or if it does it will require a lot of pieces to fall in place in the future (and that does not always happen).

We have both set roots down here. We have both made friends here that we may never see again. That is really tough thought to take. Talking with Amy about all of this has helped to bring me back into focus with the time I have left here.

I have short time left here to make the most my new life; more importantly to make a difference for the people I am here to work with and for. Two years is a really long time. Two years is also a really short time.

Amy, you are my heart. I miss you.

СИ Ю CУН. Te Amo.