Christmas

December 22, 2006

7:00 AM

Three days to Christmas and it is weird, not having the barrage of an American Christmas surrounding me, it barely feels like Christmas. My families and friends back home are readying themselves for the events of the upcoming weekend. I know that I will miss not being able to spend Christmas with family and friends, but for some reason this first holiday season (of two) here has validated why I am here.

It honestly feels good to allow a new stream of emotions and actions inundate my daily tasks. At this point back home, I would be heading out for my one of beginning and ending my Christmas shopping (most likely at Target, the only place where I can go and in two hours to purchase everything I need for all of my family). But out here in the mountains of Central Asia, I will not be shopping, and that is fine.



December 27, 2006

7:15 AM


I will warn you now, this is going to be one of the longest posting I have typed since being in country. Due to a large amount of activities, work, and projects to take care of before and during the Christmas weekend I have really not had any time to sit down and release thoughts (onto my computer at least). Considered yourself warned, Fiona and I have a lot to talk about.

Before I start with the wonderful events of my Christmas weekend, I want to talk briefly about a discussion I have with my host family last week (host mother and father and host father’s brother and wife). Last Wednesday (December 20) my host father’s brother (host uncle?) and his wife had come over for a picture watching on my computer. People love looking at pictures here and my host family is no different. I take a ton of pictures and they love to sit down for a good hour and just watch a “My Pictures Slideshow” flip picture after picture for them.

On this particular night I showed a bunch of pictures I had taken in Kyrgyzstan and then followed that up with a good chunk of pictures I had taken from home. The pictures from home were family shots and then some shots of Chicago (that I had borrowed from the internet). After the pictures we all sat down to for dinner where the inevitable load of questions began to be fired my way. The dinner questions sessions have died down a bit now that I have become a part of the family; but once in a while they find their way back to the dinner table. After showing a load of pictures from home, I fully expected to sit down at the table and start handling the barrage of questions.

As a quick side note, I love the questions sessions. For one, I love being able to answer questions they have about America and quell some misconceptions they may hold on to. It is also very good language practice for me (I usually learn a few new words during the longer sessions). My language improves daily, but I still struggle understanding conversation when I am not part of it. Unless I have a contextual base to what is being talked about, it’s tough to just jump in and know what is going on. It sounds kind of selfish to say, but when I am being asked the questions, it really makes me feel like I am engaging in the discussion because I have the ability to guide it in certain directions (more than likely directions I know I can discuss or may need some help in, and know I can get in whatever context we are talking).

Back to the actual questions; during the picture showing I happened to show a bunch of beautiful night shots of the Chicago skyline and a few shots of the DP house. This brought on the usual ohhs and ahhs from my family (and anyone else who sees them). While responding and asking questions about Chicago the discussion seemed to drift slightly towards how wonderful and beautiful a nation of America is. I didn’t not disagree with them, but I was instantly struck with a need not let them place the U.S. as this perfect land on the other side of the planet.

My family is a very open-minded group and incredibly cultured through marriages, jobs, and parents as former government employees. Knowing this, I was very conscious of the fact that they understand that there are problems all over the world. But sometimes they get caught up in the technology, advancement, and grand specter of the U.S.A. This is where I believe my role as volunteer takes on its’ fun role of American “ambassador.” I tried to point out that while my home nation is an incredible place, it is still very young and still has many problems that seem to be unavoidable in the world of power, government, race, and society.

They asked me if the U.S. government has corruption (a Russian cognate!) at all. I pointed out that we have a system of “checks and balances” that attempts to thwart anyone person or party gaining too much power. But even though we have this, there is still a good amount of problems that sneak through the cracks. In response to their question of what kind of problems I did my best to explain some recent events dealing with corporations and the mishandling of money. This struck a cord in all of the adults at the table and this is where the conversation took a very refreshing turn.

Since I have been in country, the topic of corruption has been a very taboo topic. People seemed to be afraid to discuss with me because they were afraid it would shine a negative light onto their country. But I think with the comfort of realizing that the American government has problems too, my family felt a little more relaxed to open up about their opinions on some of the happenings in country. I really don’t want to go into specifics about what we discussed, because I feel as if I would be breaking their trust they gave me in the comfort of family conversation. But suffice to say, the corruption discussion was a wonderful sharing of similarities between the beauties of an organized government and the inevitable problems that occur sometimes in the struggle for power.

This discussion then led us into a pre-USSR/post-USSR discussion. This was by far the best part of the evening. It was very refreshing to hear someone finally admit that, while the economy was great and jobs were everywhere, they were ruled by an oppressive regime that removed a lot of their very old culture. We discussed how great it was to have work, but how people would disappear if they showed one hint of disliking the government. The schools were very strict and in turn did a great job at educating the youth. But on the flipside, as they stated, education was very narrow-minded and sometimes excluded knowledge and information on the premise that it questioned the ideals of the USSR. During this whole discussion about the USSR I just sat there and listened; it was so refreshing to hear about the world I now live in and to hear a group of people accept both the beauty and darkness of their country and mine. There is no perfect race, no perfect culture, no perfect government and no perfect nation; it felt good to finally have someone level with me on that thought here.

*** I am off to school for the final day of classes and a day filled with New Years celebrations. Expect pictures from New Years to be on the site. I will return this afternoon to get into the happenings of this past wonderful weekend. ***


3:30 PM

Ok, I am back for a brief hour before I need to head back to school for the evening festivities. This evening is a celebration (on the last day of classes) in honor of the upcoming New Year. I promise, I will talk more about these fun celebrations in a few pages. But for now, I need to recover old thoughts from the depths of my memory and recap this past weekend.

To start, I must honestly say that this past Christmas was by in large the best Christmas I have ever had. Now don’t get me wrong, I was brought to tears a few times this weekend (thanks mom!). This was the first Christmas away from home and my family. It was tough, but the activities that unfolded helped to make this weekend much easier to handle away from home.

This was the first Christmas where I truly felt like I was giving rather than receiving. I have always loved the feeling of giving. No matter whether it is making food for a group of people, giving presents, or helping someone in a time of need; I have always loved the feeling that I get. The feeling both from the unselfish acts and from the response I receive. I love it.

This past weekend I spent in one of the larger towns on the lake (Cholpon-Ata) with thirteen other volunteers. For three days we prepared and delivered cookies, presents, and Christmas carols to two different orphanages in the area. That in one sentence sums up the entire weekends events. But what kind of journal would this be if I didn’t live up to my reputation?

Thoughts on the weekend (in random bullet points):

The Arrival in Cholpon-Ata:

As I have mentioned before in other journal entries, I have gained a the tag on the lake as a volunteer who has “gone local” (which pretty much means anyone that spends more weekends in their own village than in other villages). I don’t mind the tag and actually think it to be kind of humorous at times. This being said, when I did finally make the trip out of my village this past weekend to head to C.A. (Cholpon-Ata), it felt good; it sort of felt like it used to feel like when I made into the city (Chicago) after a few months of not making the trip. Like when I would head into the city, I knew heading into C.A. I would be seeing some friends I hadn’t seen for a while and possibly meet some new people.

So as my marshutka rolled over the hills towards Cholpon-Ata the anticipation grew. All of the sudden Christmas carols started to creep into my head (since with a lack of television and radio, the onslaught of Christmas has been absent for the past month). Once I arrived in the center of the city, I hoped out and made the walk to the K-13 (the group of PCVs that have been here for a year already) couple’s apartment where preparations for the event were well underway.

Walking in the door, I felt a rush of love. It sounds really cheesy to say, but some where in between hearing Bing Crosby’s voice and giving hugs to all of the friends I hadn’t seen for a few months, I was glowing. As expected, I wandered the apartment giving hugs and quickly catching up with everyone. And just like Chicago, I met a new friend who I had not yet met in my few travels to different towns (another topic all in itself). It was a great arrival and reminded me how lovely it feels to return and appreciate something ten-fold because its’ previous absence (I can only imagine two years from now!).


Christmas Music:

The entire weekend was filled with both traditional and modern interpretations of Christmas classics. While we were cooking, talking, baking, wrapping, and just relaxing; there was always someone playing a Christmas tune from their iPod. I know that I mentioned before how it felt good to not be bombarded with Christmas since I have been here, but the music felt good. There is just something about Christmas music that makes you smile. Bing Crosby was a staple, and then Sarah McLachlan was tossed in, and then came about fifty renditions of “Little Drummer” boy. Overall, it felt good to get a nice heavy dose of Christmas music in the presence of people who have grown up with it.


Christmas Carols:

I have always liked the idea of Christmas caroling, but never really knew how to go about it. It always looked fun to grab a group of ten or so and just start wandering about singing Christmas music to random people at random locations. As best we could this weekend, we pulled off our own version of Christmas caroling. We had planned on giving two “performances” for the weekend, one at each orphanage we visited. We started practicing on Friday night for our first performance on Saturday. Suffice to say, the wine we had decided to relax with before the practice session turned the evening carols into a very poor attempt to create anything resembling harmony. The most successful part of the first night was that we decided which set of carols we wanted to sing (chosen from a set of lyrics a fellow volunteer had created for us all). We conceded defeat on Friday night and decided to return to them Saturday morning (the first “show” was at 3:00 on Saturday).

Saturday morning rolled around and out of no where we turned into a choir. I had shivers throughout our entire morning practice session as were tore through many of the classis (Rudolph, Frosty, Deck the Halls, etc.). It sounded really cool to have fourteen volunteers all singing together to songs that we all had grown up with. I remember looking around the room and I could tell that everyone was smiling. At some point it became quite obvious that everyone in the room was struck with the Christmas love. Christmas music sung by Bing is soothing; Christmas music sung with friends is loving.


Orphanage 1:

Our first orphanage was a short walk from a fellow volunteer’s apartment. After our morning session and some lunch, we headed over to the orphanage. The fist orphanage was sponsored by a set of Austrian donors and businesses that made this place look like a five star resort. It was a beautiful set-up with red-brick buildings, heated floors, and playgrounds that still had swings attached! It stood out in the center of the village because of the thick gates that surrounded it and the green grass that seemed to be defying winter (and Kyrgyzstan’s lack of grass, pretty much any where).

We were welcomed in by one of the teachers who lead us on a short winding tour of the lot to a building towards that back where we would be “performing.” We all entered the building with a slight gasp. It was beautiful. Wood paneled floors, real paint on the walls, and Christmas/New Years decorations everywhere. The ultimate selling point came after being in the building for about five minutes. We all suddenly realized that this building had central heating and was heated to the point of sweating (for me at least, I sweat easily).

After about fifteen minutes that children started to file into the building and take up positions on the floor and random chair set around the room. This was our defining moment. First of all, we had the difficult task of singing in harmony; but the harmony becomes much more important when most of the words from the songs you sing will not be understood by your audience. If we sounded bad, it would be obvious to the children and their teacher and house-parents. So we found our line-up, prayed for rhythm and set-off on a journey through the classics.

We moved steadily, and harmoniously, through all of the carols and stumbled upon a very surprising discovery during our singing. Apparently the children had been practicing “Deck the Halls” at school and at home. During our singing, some of the children jumped into the chorus (Fa la la la la la la la la). Noticing this, we had our good language speakers ask them in both Russian and Kyrgyz if we sang the song once more, would they sing the chorus for us. They loved the idea and so we struck up the vocal chords one more time, this time with a participatory audience.

It was wonderful; all of the children loved it and got really into it. We ended up repeating the song twice simply because we were having as much fun as they were singing the song. It was one of a dozen or so moments this past weekend where I stepped out of the my body to watch as smiles all around spread across the cheeks

Once we finished our “set,” we had planned on passing out some small gifts (coloring pictures and cookies); but before we could start this we were informed by one of the directors of the orphanage that a few children had prepared a few songs for us. This by and large ended up being the highlight of the day. Three children each took turns at singing us a few Kyrgyz winter songs (in the celebration of the New Year). They were all incredible, and the first boy that sang for us even did a Kyrgyz/English version of “Jingle Bells.” Simply put, we were speechless and many were near tears.

Orphanage 2:

The second orphanage we attended (on Christmas Eve) was a little more modest. This orphanage was sponsored by local donors and one couple that started the orphanage (after adopting one child, where upon they found it nearly impossible to leave other parentless children alone). There were no red brick buildings, no playgrounds, but this place tons of love. I saw in the eyes of the children the second we showed up.

The director/father of the orphanage came to pick us up in town and drove us all out to the orphanage. When he brought us into the building, all of the kids were glowing; most of them ran up and hugged the director and then gave us all a huge smile. It was much more obvious in this orphanage that a family had been created. There were nearly thirty kids at there and all of them had assumed the role of brothers and sisters. The older brothers and sisters had assumed the roles and leaders in the large family. All around there were children playing games with each other, smiling, and carrying for each other. It was pretty cool to see.

We started at this orphanage with the same set of Christmas Carols as the last one, with pretty much the same results. Once again we were able to get the children involved in “Deck the Halls” and they loved it. The carols seemed a bit more intimate and personal here due to the building being a bit smaller and the children much closer to us.

After the carols, we swiftly moved into cookie eating. A bunch of volunteers had spent a few days before the weekend making cookies for the children. For our first gift to the children, we all sat down with the children for some cookies and, of course, tea. It was a nice intro into our next activity with them (craft making) because it gave us a chance to talk a bit with the kids (even though most of them spoke Russian at this orphanage, and my Russian is a joke right now). But in the case of these children, language was not really needed. A few smiles took us a million miles.

The crafts we made with the children were the ever popular snowflakes and Christmas tree ornaments. We sat down with the children, tossed around the paper we had brought with us, and started our session of showing the children how to make winter crafts. Most of the children caught on very quickly and loved it. And as usually is the case, some of the craft leaders (volunteers) got really into themselves and made some pretty cool snowflakes and ornaments.

After the craft session we moved into the final and most exciting part of the afternoon. All of the volunteers who had arrived for this past weekend brought gifts, money for gifts, or helped package the gifts for all of the children. On Saturday night, a group of volunteers had graciously packed all of the gifts into bags for each child at the orphanage. This ended up being very important because every child got a personalized package with their name on it and a bunch of cool gifts. For the gift giving sessions, three volunteers sat up front next to the Christmas tree with big bags in front of them slowly calling out the names of all of the children in the orphanage. It was great to see as each child shyly walked up to get their gift and then a huge smile would appear once they got their gift.

Overall, the orphanages were a wonderful time.


Christmas Eve Dinner:

In the true spirit of Christmas, we cooked up two huge roasts for our big Christmas Eve dinner. Pot roast, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, stuffing, dressing, and apple and walnut pie; it was a Christmas dinner fit to feed a family, and that it did. Every one of the fourteen people in the apartment that night ate themselves silly. It was a wonderful dinner and in many ways reminded me Christmas dinner back home. You would have been proud Pops, the roast was a perfect medium rare; I did not cook it, but I was given the honor of carving it up.


Christmas Day Breakfast:

What Christmas would be complete without a wonderful breakfast to rise to? Well, in this case, by the time we got things roasting and underway, it was more like breakfast for lunch. Still, when I saw the opportunity to be able to cook up breakfast for all of the volunteers, I jumped at it. I swear I need to make another, longer list, of how I am becoming my parents!

Whatever, their wonderful people, if I had to choose two people to grow up to be like, I couldn’t think of a better set of role models!

Back to the breakfast; the night before we had bought a bunch of eggs and cheese. I am sure you know what this means! Omelets! I love making omelets; and with the amount of good leftovers we had from the dinner the night before, we had a beautiful set up of ingredients. It reminded me a lot like Minocqua (I miss the days), where we would accumulate all of the leftovers from previous nights and the just pile people into one cabin. It pretty much worked out the same way. People would just jump in line in a very “no-order” Kyrgyz style and place their order. I would have them dump their ingredients over the freshly poured eggs in the pan already and then tell them to return in five minutes.

I loved it; I always love cooking, but cooking for large crowds has always been a love of mine. It must be some type of leftover from my Schauls’ days. Andy, I don’t think it was presentation catering, but it surely wasn’t no shabby Newman Homes gig. This event has some pizzazz. The only thing missing was Schauls’ Seasoning. Ahhh man; that stuff was so, so good. Sorry, memories are flowing in now. Overall, Christmas morning was wonderful and it felt good to do a little work in the kitchen


My Peace Corps Family:

In all, the weekend was incredible and felt good to do some giving for Christmas. The entire weekend warmed my heart and really made me feel like I spent a Christmas in the true Christmas spirit of giving.

But beyond the joy of giving, a much unexpected gift was passed on my way during the weekend. I know that I have talked at length about my love for my village and how I tend to not move out and around a lot. But this weekend showed me the love on the other side of the spectrum. By the end of this weekend, I truly felt like I had a family I was part of a new PC family. Nothing will ever replace my loved ones back home, but my parents would be proud of my PC family I have here.

These past few months I have experienced an incredible decrease in the hug category. It sounds cheesy, but a good hug can go a million miles. This past weekend I gave a received plenty to bring me back up to par. It was wonderful to sit around and share in Christmas memories with everyone for a little bit; escape the world we were in and let our memories and emotions shoot around. I never once felt lonely this Christmas. I had thirteen family members surrounding me who were there to talk, joke, and hug at any given moment.

There is definitely an unspoken bond gained through shared experience here in Peace Corps; it is a beautiful thing that drops all barriers to conversation and friendship. No matter your background, your interests, or your destination, friendships are formed between volunteers simply because we are all here sharing in many of the same joys and struggles of life in a foreign country, away from everything we have ever known. Eventually, the friendships grow to become much more that just friendships. As the past weekend displayed, eventually you become family members. In time, your passion to help the people of Kyrgyzstan combines with everyone else’s passion to create a family doing their best to collectively help make the future better for everyone in this country.



December 30, 2006

7:45 AM


The new number is near,
waiting around the corner.
I am a different person
wiser and a bit older.

The past holds answers
that my future will need.
My direction, uncertain;
so much I want to be.

I see The light flicker
in my uncertain dreams.
A candle lit, burning,
lighting what seems

to be an image of me.
Not me now, not me here.
Me later, out of present
thought; future’s fear.