Saturday, August 26, 2006

Bullet Points: Sponsored in part by APL, DG, and AC

The Breakdown:

* Friendship without words
* The joy and sorrows of lonliness
* Site Announcement
* Thoughts on Life

By the way, check out my new photo hosting site:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jasonpeacecorps/

The Joy and the Struggle

8/21/06

6:30 AM

It’s an amazing feeling to reach a stage in friendship where words are not entirely necessary to convey feelings and/or emotions. In a month’s time, I have developed an incredible bond with my host family which has been, for the most part, void of any fluent conversation. As my language has progressed, so have our levels of communicative understanding. But beyond the level of verbal communication, I have developed a friendship born from the seeds of life’s simple things. It may sound a bit cheesy, but a smile, or a hug, or a laugh, can say a thousand words. I do not plan on using my smile to get me through two years here (even though it is quite a cute smile, if I say so myself), the language is still a passion of mine. But it feels good to know that I can goof around in any language, have a water fight with my host siblings and call it sharing culture, or just give my little host sister a hug, and all of them can be done without the use of language.



8/24/06

6:15 PM

I remember having countless conversations before I left to come here about how big of a step in my life joining Peace Corps was for me. What an obscene understatement. Peace Corps is not a step you take in your life; junior high to high school is a step, Peace Corps is a free fall. I feel as if I have base-jumped from a cliff into cloudy valley; every so often I am thrown into the cliff by a gust of wind and then, slowly, I regain control and work my way back into the free fall. I really never feel like I have control over anything here besides what goes on inside my head, and even that can be a bit shaky at times. Don’t get be wrong, I am not going crazy (crazier) nor am I disliking my experience here. I am simply stating that uprooting myself from everything I’ve ever known has proven to have much more effect on me than I could ever thought. I love what I am doing and I love where I am at. There are plenty of crazy reasons why I am so happy with what I am doing. Happiness now, though, in my present situation, rises out of the conquering of the unknown. It’s this crazy part of my “happy” reasons that scares me because they involve putting myself time and time again through struggle, turmoil, and countless trips into my soul; a place which I have rarely visited in my short lifetime.

In a short month here I have taken many journeys deep into my soul, and I have truly surprised myself with what I have found. The most expected find and dually the most challenging has been that gaps between where I have and where I have never gone. Deep inside of my soul and my thoughts there are endless dark tunnels dying to be explored. The scary part is that I have taken a few initial steps in the past month into these tunnels and I’ve struggled immensely with what I found. Amidst all of my confidence and budding intelligence lies a very unsure young man. Is it insecurity? I don’t know. In a very ironic twist to “soul searching,” I have grown more and more confident with myself as I find out more and more about my insecurities and shortcomings. All of this exploring has taken place during my experienced of isolation; feeling the pains of loneliness has really opened me up to many of my “insecurities.” I remember having a conversation with a dear friend of mine, Dr. Martin Forward, over lunch a short while before I left. He was sharing with me many of the emotions, joys, and struggles that he went through during his long stay in India during his youth (to be exact, when he was 23, as I am now). The one thing that stuck with me was his discussion about the loneliness; he stayed far away from warning me, he simply laid it out there for me to have in my mind. I remember him paying special attention to idea of feeling completely isolated and lonely in the middle of a crowd. I wish now I would have prodded a bit deeper for more of his insight. It is amazing how I can be surrounded by an entire country of people, Peace Corps volunteers included, and still have moments where I feel entirely isolated and alone. And the scary part is that I am still month away from leaving for my permanent site. I have eleven other trainees in my village with me and I see the other fifty-eight volunteers twice a week for different training sessions. I am far from lonely yet; soon long winter days will truly begin the test.

It’s inevitable though, I have never been a part of anything in my life that has come this close to closing me off from everything I’ve ever known. Granted I have pictures, a laptop, and some movies. But try talking to your parents in a picture frame or attempting to telepathically talk to your best friends, it just doesn’t work, I’ve tried. Due to a lack of constant outlets for conversation with people I have known my entire life, I have been forced to really take the time to explore my thoughts with the person who knows me best: myself. Only time will tell how crazy I really am.



8/26/06

12:30 AM

This past Tuesday Peace Corps revealed to the K-14 group where their permanent sites will be for the next two years. SOCD volunteers were told what NGO they would be working for and TEFL volunteers were told what school they would be teaching at; and it was all coupled with where in Kyrgyzstan we would be doing out respective jobs. My site for the next two years will be on the Northern shore of Issyk-Kul Lake, in the Issyk-Kul oblast. I will be the first volunteer to serve in my village, which means that I will really have a chance to set the stage for Peace Corps the people of my village.

And that brings me to my next point: my role here as a volunteer. The past week played host to a collage of emotions brought on by the PC site announcement, some crazy stomach issues, some great TEFL training sessions, and some wonderful moments of personal growth. Amongst the crazed emotional roller coaster, I have really started to analyze the role in which I have the opportunity to fill here as a volunteer. For the first time, I have really saw my position, and the rest of PC, as playing a key role in allowing KG to transition from the grips of the USSR into a thriving country. While teaching English to secondary students may not seem like the most economically boosting project a volunteer can take on, I have been shown the light recently.

Peace Corps truly aims for the goal of sustainability. We, as Peace Corps volunteers, are not here to help out for a few years, and then move on to another country. There really are many programs set up, both within the TEFL programs and SOCD programs (which includes a new Health Branch this year in which three volunteers from K14 will be pioneering), that are in place with the specific goal creating to sustain. As a TEFL volunteer I am expected to teach 18-20 hours of English a week. But that is just one small component to my job once I reach site. Every TEFL volunteer is sent to their site, and their school, to help build up a firmly planted English education program that can sustain itself once the volunteer leaves. It seems kind of lofty to think that in two years I can head into a school and turn a program around. But that is not what I am entirely meant to do. I need to head to my school, and village, and get things rolling, get the village and the school thinking and trained to organize and run their own dynamic English education program. Essentially I need to play an “invisible” role for the next two years. I need to help the village realize that all of the help I am offering up to them can, in time, be done by themselves. To me, that is the goal of sustainability, and that is a goal that I, and plenty other volunteers, have. I will get back to you in two years and let you know how things go.


8/26/06

6:30 AM

Thoughts on Life:

Treading the water of youth can be fun for a while, but eventually you need to choose, learn to swim or find the shallow end. There comes a time when you know you have to make this decision, even if you are not entirely sure what the decision means. I have reached a point in my life where I know from here on out, my future will begin to unfold and I will have to make decisions as options are laid out for me. Everything from love to my future career will be looped into my time here with Peace Corps and my life in general. Decisions regarding both will eventually have to be made, and I know and respect that. The only issue is that I truly feel as if I am only beginning to learn who I am, to really dive deep into my soul and explore my inner workings. But then I already know that this is a lifelong process, and that I am going to have to come to terms with the fact that my life will forever be shaped how well I understand myself. Understanding myself has proven to be very essential in examining the world that surrounds me. I love the world I live in, it provides me some of the greatest free movies (people watching!) and free lessons (getting and losing love is a lesson that may suck to learn, on all levels, but can prove to be very necessary to experience).

I spent the large majority of my twenties searching the depths of my soul, both in my own mind and on the soil of many foreign lands. The crazy part is that I never knew I was really taking a look into my soul. Only now, living in a foreign country have I begun to understand that all of my traveling, my thirst for knowledge, has been rooted in a passion to unleash and uncover parts of me I never knew existed. The passions and desires found deep in the soul waiting to be found and released for consumption by the heart and mind. I have become entranced by what my soul has revealed to mem and I plan on diving deeper and deeper as life unfolds.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Kyrgyz Kliff Notes

The Post Below Contains:

* Add Email Attachments, Please!
* A New Language
* Host Siblings
* TEFL English Club
* The Heat
* Sickness
* Reality Television!

11 Hours Ahead, and Still Behind

July 30, 2006

Before I start this post/journal entry, I have a quick note to all the wonderful people who have been emailing me. Actually, I more so have a favor to ask; would it be possible for you all to start attaching (in a MS Word attachment) news articles, headlines, pictures, and stories (pretty much anything that could help me stay up on news and life back in the states) to your emails. I have found my jumpdrive to be an incredibly useful tool to transfer emails back and forth from the internet café to my laptop. Mr. Brauhn, you would be very impressed with the speed and efficiency I have displayed during my last two internet stops. In a half hours’ time I can send 7-8 emails off, post to the blog, and copy my emails/news headlines to Word and save them to the jumpdrive. I love the pictures that have been attached to emails so far (thank you Vicki!), they are a wonderful accent to words and provide some late night smiles while reading all the emails I’ve gotten. I do not want to make you think you need to attach something to every email you send; I am just asking that if you have the time, could you please help me stay connected to your lives and everything happening back home, thank you!

Ok, as you can see, I still cannot get to the point, it took me 223 words to ask a simple favor! Sorry, you would expect that by learning a new language (especially a agglomerative language—basically, nouns, verbs, and adjectives are combined with different endings to signify pluralizing, negation, past indefinite, etc.) I would start to weed out my usage of fillers and rambling. Sorry, no luck there, I think I’ve just gotten a bit weirder with my English word choice. Hopefully learning another language will slowly change this as time moves along.

While I’m on the topic, I may as start talking about my progress with Kyrgyz. I have to admit, the lessons have been very tough and very intensive; but amongst all the struggles, Kyrgyz has been a very rewarding language to learn (as I can guess learning any language would be while living in the country where it is spoken). Everyone learning Kyrgyz, both in my group and throughout all of K-14, has different learning styles, and we are all moving at different paces. But in general, we all seem to be grasping the language fairly well. Personally, I am loving every minute (even the painful studying needed with an agglomerative language) of learning Kyrgyz. My vocab is growing daily and more and more I am picking up on the language from native speakers. For the past four weeks (4 Weeks!!!!) I have been both impressed and disappointed with my progress, so I cannot complain, I just need to study more. Sometimes, though, playing soccer with the neighborhood boys (there are some really good players out here) and cops and robbers with my host sister need to take priority.

Yeah, the little sister, she is so cool. Actually, both of my host sisters are awesome. Maakoo is eight and Aika is fourteen (she turns 15 on August 20) and I also have a twenty-one year-old host brother named Bakit. My host brother is cool, he is very open and loves to joke around; but my host sisters are the stars of the family. Maakoo is the about as tall as my waist and is the cutest eight year-old in the world (this is open for objection, obviously I am slightly bias). She loves to play any game that involves make believe fighting/tickle attacks and won’t let a day pass without a “surprise attack.” She has been very pivotal, among a few other things, in helping me adjust to life in Kyrgyzstan. My other host sister, Aika, was born to be a teacher. She spends most dinners, along with my host mother, teaching me new words and correcting my pronunciation. She comes off as a very quiet girl, but countless times I have been in my room and heard her singing and dancing around the house to whatever is on the radio. I do hope that she, as well as her parents, recognizes the talents she possesses and they all act on them accordingly. I will do my best to help bring out her talents as much as I can, especially since I just found out that she will be in my English Club group.

Peace Corps requires TEFL trainees to organize an English Club at their local schools for all grade levels. Peace Corps and our LCF did most of the work in organizing the students and talking to the local school, and now that they are organized, it is our job to run the club. We meet two days a week for a half hour each day and basically just organize educational games to play. I elected to take a group by myself (I learn best by walking in the dark), and all of the other volunteers are paired up with different grade levels. I will be doing the same amount of work as the other volunteers (every individual volunteer is required to run a half hour session), it is my students who lucked out and only have to be at the club for a half hour, rather than an hour. We were all given the option of which grade level we would like, and I jumped at the chance to take the 9th and 10th graders when they were offered up. I was hoping they would have a fairly good foundation in English, and for the past two sessions, I have been pleasantly surprised. My group is 95% girls, and most of them know more English than I know Kyrgyz. I have already explained to them that they will be my teachers, and I will be theirs. I believe that this club could be very helpful with teaching experience, so I am welcome this new challenge.

Another challenge that was talked up a lot before I came to Kyrgyzstan was the weather. Before I left I heard over and over again how cold Kyrgyzstan can get; no one talked about how hot it can also get! We have repeatedly reached 38° C (roughly 100° F) in the North. There is little to no humidity here, which is nice, but it feels good to know that right now the US and the Kyrgyz Republic are battling the same heat! The heat grows on you though, I barely notice it now (with the exception of my ever-present back-pack sweat stain); whenever it gets really hot, I have learned to find solace in ice cream and cold Fanta.



August 4, 2006

I have officially completed one of the requirements to becoming a Peace Corps Volunteer: the 24-36 hour sickness! I am pretty much recovered by now, but wow, did I have one hell of wild ride from Tuesday night into Thursday morning. Tuesday night started with a mad onslaught of chills and nausea. By the time I had woke up Wednesday morning, I was dripping sweat and freezing at the same time with a body temperature of 38° C (a temp. to which my host family and I now joke was equal to the outside temp.). I stayed in bed for most of the morning, getting up once to go to the bathroom, which is when I almost passed. That seemed like a good moment to start the oral hydration packets (packets of powder added to water meant to help you retain fluid and keep you hydrated—they taste horrible. When noon rolled around, I had soaked through one t-shirt, my bed was a puddle, and my temp. had jumped to 39°. Before I go any further, though, let me explain one thing first. If you think Kyrgyz people are kind and giving on a normal day, try getting ill around them. My host mother and my LCF treated me like a king. About every half hour (that I was awake; I was asleep for half the day) throughout the day, my Apa (Kyrgyz for mother) would come in to make sure I was ok. She would check to see if my water bottle was full, bring in a new towel soaked in cold water and clean off my forehead, and she was on the phone all day talking to all the neighborhood Apas’ for help. My Kyrgyz Apa would have made my American Apa proud; I was well taken care of.

So the day went on and eventually Peace Corps was able to get some hard-core medicine my way (courtesy of the hardest working LCF in Kyrgyzstan, Ratbu and my dedicated Apa) that quickly started to lower my fever and quell some of my crazy nausea. By the end of Wednesday my temperature had completed its decent and my head finally reattached itself. I went to bed feeling like I had gained some equilibrium back and by morning I would be pretty much back to normal; silly me. I woke up Thursday morning without the fever, without the nausea, but I had a new guest: loose bowels! Bowel movements tend to be a large part of conversation between PSTs’, so excuse me if I come off blunt. For most of Thursday, my intestines were reenacting World War II and my stomach was the battle field. I will save the details, but let me tell you one thing, my thighs were sore from all of the outhouse squatting! I will leave mental pictures up to you all.



Ah, man, I miss you all. I wish I could give you all a quick 30 minute reality show twice a week, just to give you all a glimpse of what life is like here. I love what I am doing right now and I would love to be able to share more with you all.

Peace and One Love,

Inshallah, I shall see you all soon, in Central Asia.